You’re 29 and you have no kids?!!!!

So, as I creep towards 30 i’m always asked “so…..when are you having one?!” Well firstly Sandra I like sleeping! How’s that going for you with your 3 sleep stealer’s waking you up at 3am, 5am and 7am? Because i’m getting 8 hours every night, sometimes 10!!!!

Why is it as you creep towards 30 so many people take an interest in my ovarian activity?! Shall I use your bowel movements as a conversation starter or is that intrusive “Are you regular Sandra?”.

Let me just point out a few things to those that actually have their s**t together….

  1. I will wake up as late as physically possible, you cant snooze a baby for an hour to ‘come round’.
  2. I already wash my hair as little as possible due to not feeling like an hour a day is a good use of time blow drying a head full of nano rings!
  3. As above its lucky if it even gets brushed and YOU want ME to be solely responsible for raising a child.
  4. I killed a cactus, a plant that is near enough un-killable, it died in my care, I loved it to death, I over fed it until it literally turned to mush. There is already an obesity epidemic without me bringing a new generation of over-eaters into this world.
  5. I’ve been on a diet for 6 years and in that time gained 2 stone, baby weight is not something i’m prepared to try and conquer!

So Sandra, the answer to your question is NOT YET, now haven’t you got a school run to finish or something?!

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I'm 29 and literally clueless about mostly everything! I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up! The thought of having children scares the life out of me, I can barely dress myself! Life basically seems like one big joke (because that's what I make it to disguise the fact that adulting petrifies me and is sooooo bleak!) except I have direct debits coming out of my eyeballs and nothing I say really seems to make any sort of sense! I crave excitement outside of seeing whats in my monthly Birchbox subscription. The ageing process is not being kind to me (the day I discovered a chin hair was a MAJOR low point!) My waist is rapidly expanding. My desire to be thin is ever increasing. My motivation to do anything about it is ever depleting. I have an inner need to buy budget gadgets that break or are completely useless and that desire never seems to fade, I literally have a house full of useless s**t!!! What is life?! I think its time for a Gin...................

2 thoughts on “You’re 29 and you have no kids?!!!!”

  1. I feel you. I’m 36 and people stopped asking. But back when they did, I gave them thoughtful and honest responses such as yours: Because I like sleeping, disposable income, eating meals with the use of both hands… should I go on? Never got asked by the same person twice.

    Liked by 1 person

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