There are 2 types of girls in this world….

There are women and girls who really have it together. By together this is the sort of routine they have:

  1. Up at 5.30, smoothie and a run.
  2. Home to shower and wash and blow dry hair.
  3. Full body moisturise.
  4. Whilst hair is in rollers cleanse, tone, serum, moisturise, primer, concealer, foundation, eyeshadow, brow tidy, contour, blush, highlight, line eyes, line lips, lipstick, setting powder, setting spray.
  5. Put on the perfectly ironed outfit that was ready from the night before.
  6. Make the salad before work.
  7. Take multi vitamins and hair skin and nails tablets.
  8. Leave for work with a smile on her face ready for the day.
  9. Stops for coffee because she has enough time.
  10. Into work, bosses her day.
  11. Comes home, cleans for a bit, cooks dinner.
  12. Goes to bed around 10.30 ready to face another day.

Then there are women like me……

  1. Alarm starts at 6.30, snooze till 7.00, if I start to wake up ill pick my phone up and scroll through social media without leaving my bed or I’ll stay in bed and continue to snooze.
  2. 7.30 get into the shower.
  3. Get out the shower wrap myself in towels, get back into bed to put some moisturiser on and a bit of bronzer if I have a meeting that day.
  4. Full body moisturise? Are we going out out? No. Ill leave it then.
  5. Dry shampoo my hair for yet another day and throw on top of my head. By this point its one deadlock that wildlife could live in.
  6. Find whatever is screwed up in my airing cupboard and hope the creases drop out.
  7. Go to work.
  8. Make a pint of coffee.
  9. Don’t make eye contact with anyone until after 10.30 when I’ve finally woken up.
  10. Go home. Instantly take my bra off.
  11. Slob out.
  12. Make dinner.
  13. Bed by 9.
  14. Slob out in bed a bit more.
  15. Do it all again the next day.

Point is I will never have it together. I don’t think I’m alone in this!

I look at these women and have such respect that they can function in such a perfect way but the matter of the fact is I simply can’t be ar**d.

Have a great day whichever version you are!

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I'm 29 and literally clueless about mostly everything! I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up! The thought of having children scares the life out of me, I can barely dress myself! Life basically seems like one big joke (because that's what I make it to disguise the fact that adulting petrifies me and is sooooo bleak!) except I have direct debits coming out of my eyeballs and nothing I say really seems to make any sort of sense! I crave excitement outside of seeing whats in my monthly Birchbox subscription. The ageing process is not being kind to me (the day I discovered a chin hair was a MAJOR low point!) My waist is rapidly expanding. My desire to be thin is ever increasing. My motivation to do anything about it is ever depleting. I have an inner need to buy budget gadgets that break or are completely useless and that desire never seems to fade, I literally have a house full of useless s**t!!! What is life?! I think its time for a Gin...................

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