If this is as good as it gets…..

How many of you have said “I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat”.

I bet its a lot of you………

I remember being a size 8-10 thinking if only I can get down to a 6-8. Now for me I’m 5ft 7″ so a size 6 on me would have me resembling Jack Skellington from a nightmare before Christmas!

As time went on that 8-10 became a 10-12, then 10-12 became 12-14, 12-14 became 14-16 in some things. I sometimes think I wish I looked like I did 2,4,6 years ago but what’s the point.

Surely none of us are enjoying life that much if we are SO bothered with how we look! Sometimes if I’m going out and my hair isn’t right or I haven’t fake tanned or the dress doesn’t look as nice as on the model (unless the model was the Michelin man) then it can put a real dampener on my day/night.

Well today that stops!

Do we really think anyone gives a s**t?! Seriously unless you’ve decided to completely change your look nobody will even notice these little things we nitpick ourselves for.

Sure I’ve been on holiday in fear I’ll be harpooned on a beach. Sure I feel like a seaworld spectacle in a public pool convinced people are staring at the orca doing handstands in the water but in reality the only person that cares is you!

Surely as you are right now is the best version of yourself today. Based on my scale of deterioration surely I should enjoy this. No, I’m no supermodel most of us aren’t but if I carry on like this I’m going to spend my entire existence focused on how I used to look. Maybe this is the best it gets so time to work with what I have!

I’ve decided all that energy is wasted being insecure. From now on the focus is being happy and healthy.

I’m not going to start looking in the mirror doing a “I am beautiful” mantra but what I am going to do is start believing people when they say “your dress is nice” or “I like your lipstick” instead of thinking they’re trying to make me feel better. Last time I checked Becky was not my councillor, shes not on the payroll to give me body positivity but I bet we all do it. Do people really believe it when others say you look nice or just brush it off? Either way the pressure stops here.

Enjoy right now, none of us know when our time is up we all need to stop sweating the small stuff and enjoy living.

Happy Friday guys. Enjoy it!!!!

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I'm 29 and literally clueless about mostly everything! I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up! The thought of having children scares the life out of me, I can barely dress myself! Life basically seems like one big joke (because that's what I make it to disguise the fact that adulting petrifies me and is sooooo bleak!) except I have direct debits coming out of my eyeballs and nothing I say really seems to make any sort of sense! I crave excitement outside of seeing whats in my monthly Birchbox subscription. The ageing process is not being kind to me (the day I discovered a chin hair was a MAJOR low point!) My waist is rapidly expanding. My desire to be thin is ever increasing. My motivation to do anything about it is ever depleting. I have an inner need to buy budget gadgets that break or are completely useless and that desire never seems to fade, I literally have a house full of useless s**t!!! What is life?! I think its time for a Gin...................

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