Christmas is coming and Sarah’s getting fat!

I thought it was appropriate with Christmas coming to have a moment of appreciation for all things food and drink.

Now, whilst I need to continue the wedding prep diet I have decided I will give myself a sabbatical from denying myself the indulgences that ultimately make me happy over the Christmas period and frantically start again in January.

I love love love to cook but Christmas dinner is my ultimate favourite to do! Its the one day of the year where your dinner should come with a defibrillator and mine will be no different! From the turkey to the pigs in blankets to the roast potatoes, roasted parsnips, roasted carrots, sprouts (which btw I think are disgusting but for some reason force myself to eat them because I feel its necessary) to everything else in between.

blur bokeh candle christmas decoration
Photo by on

I feel like if you don’t feel like you may slip into a mild coma after Christmas dinner was it even Christmas dinner?

Onto pudding, I’m not a fan of fruit in a pudding. If it has any form of nutritional value it should NOT be in the pudding category as far as I’m concerned. I want to feel physically disgusted with myself after eating dessert. If I don’t question if I should really be eating it quite frankly I don’t want it.

closeup photography of sliced chocolate cake on grey ceramic plate
Photo by Di Lewis on

What I also love about Christmas is that after all that dinner and dessert, give it an hour or so and you can incorporate some biscuits and chocolates into the situation without anyone batting an eyelid. Everyone is still in such a haze of ‘what just happened’ that they don’t have time to stop and engage their brains to say no to yet more gluttony.

Then comes the drinks. I’m a big mulled wine lover and what I love about Christmas drinking is that you can put Brandy into absolutely anything and it becomes socially acceptable. Mulled wine with a dash of brandy, Christmas pudding with a dash of brandy, breakfast with a shot of brandy, just me, never mind.


Also, everything is on offer so, as a hoarder and a self-confessed ‘lover of buying tat’ this is my season! Ahh look a Christmas jumper for my wine bottle I MUST HAVE THAT! I feel like the marketing for useless items nobody will ever use is specifically aimed at me and me alone! I’m QVC’s absolute dream! If it’s badly made, has absolutely no use whatsoever I can guarantee it will find its way into my shopping basket!

My top tips for this Christmas are:

  • Eat, eat absolutely every last thing.
  • Wear lycra trousers or something with a bit of stretch, you will need it.
  • Drink responsibly (the more you eat the more alcohol will be soaked up). Don’t get so wasted that you throw your Christmas dinner up. That took a lot of effort. Pace yourself!
  • Have fun, play games, be with people you love being around.
  • Don’t stress, if dinner is late it’s late, If you burn the carrots you burn the carrots, it’s about being together not being perfect.
  • Don’t pressure yourself to get everybody the best gift, that’s not what it’s about.
  • If there are children around make it as magical as you possibly can, again this isn’t about spending money, read stories, watch Christmas films together, make some paper snowflakes, the build-up with kids is one of the best bits!
  • Watch Elf, every single day until Christmas!

Take a leaf out of Snoop and Martha’s book. Let the Christmas spirit/s bring you together even if its an unlikely pairing. Make baked goods. Be merry (I’m sure Martha was after some of Snoop’s special bronies). Be indulgent. Be positive and have a very very merry Christmas!!!!


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I'm 29 and literally clueless about mostly everything! I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up! The thought of having children scares the life out of me, I can barely dress myself! Life basically seems like one big joke (because that's what I make it to disguise the fact that adulting petrifies me and is sooooo bleak!) except I have direct debits coming out of my eyeballs and nothing I say really seems to make any sort of sense! I crave excitement outside of seeing whats in my monthly Birchbox subscription. The ageing process is not being kind to me (the day I discovered a chin hair was a MAJOR low point!) My waist is rapidly expanding. My desire to be thin is ever increasing. My motivation to do anything about it is ever depleting. I have an inner need to buy budget gadgets that break or are completely useless and that desire never seems to fade, I literally have a house full of useless s**t!!! What is life?! I think its time for a Gin...................

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