Things they don’t tell women approaching 30….

Whilst I’m not actually dreading the big 30 there are some things I’ve learned as this age approaches that nobody told me. Let’s end on a high so I’ll start with the cons…..

  • Chin hair. Nobody told me as I enter my thirties I would start transitioning into a man! It started with one rogue hair (thicker and darker than I ever imagined would pop out of my face) now I’ve started to get a chin that to me looks like it’s made of velvet! There are all these little blonde fluffy friends appearing which I fear will turn black and I will end up looking like Beppe Di Marco from Eastenders!

  • Whilst we are on hair what are all these greys all about?! Why are they so thick? They feel like wire and as someone with dark hair there is no escaping them!
  • Bingo wings! Now these are obviously also due to being overweight but when I was 21 I could eat exactly what I want and not go over a size 10. Now I just think about crispy creams and put on 3lbs!
  • Droopy eyelids! I knew tits sagged but who knew my eyelids would also start to go south. I’m going to need to tape them up by 60 in order to be able to see!
  • Open pores. Why oh why oh why are open pores a thing! No amount of witch hazel is helping the appearance of these face craters. In fact this is a perfect time to thank Estée Lauder for double wear!

If you’re 21 and reading this please do not fear. There advantages to the ageing process too!!

  • No more getting asked for ID (although I always secretly hope someone will!).
  • You do not give a shit! I never used to leave the house without makeup. I will now leave looking like I’ve been sucked into a tornado and spat back out again for being too ugly! I just don’t care. I have nobody to impress!
  • You start to enjoy the little things in life like going to notcutts to pick herbs (true story).
  • You would rather go in than go out. This means you can still party with your mates except you’re in slippers and pyjamas with no makeup and your hair on top of your head!

I’m sure there are many more pro’s and cons so please do let me know what yours are? I’d love to hear what I have to look forward to.

Anyway gotta go I’ve got chin hairs to pluck!

Published by


I'm 29 and literally clueless about mostly everything! I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up! The thought of having children scares the life out of me, I can barely dress myself! Life basically seems like one big joke (because that's what I make it to disguise the fact that adulting petrifies me and is sooooo bleak!) except I have direct debits coming out of my eyeballs and nothing I say really seems to make any sort of sense! I crave excitement outside of seeing whats in my monthly Birchbox subscription. The ageing process is not being kind to me (the day I discovered a chin hair was a MAJOR low point!) My waist is rapidly expanding. My desire to be thin is ever increasing. My motivation to do anything about it is ever depleting. I have an inner need to buy budget gadgets that break or are completely useless and that desire never seems to fade, I literally have a house full of useless s**t!!! What is life?! I think its time for a Gin...................

One thought on “Things they don’t tell women approaching 30….”

  1. Listen, I’m in my mid fifties now. Don’t even get me started. No one tells you because if I knew then what I know now, I’m not sure I would have decided it was worth going forward. You’ll see. I don’t want to spoil all of your upcoming surprises. On the flipside, there are wonderful things to look forward to — grandchildren and…hmm. Well, grandchildren are wonderful! Mona


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s