ROAD RAGE!

To anyone that doesn’t know me, I can be known to have a bit of a short fuse at times. This mainly happens when driving, not to the point that I’m a dangerous driver, more to the point that I just can’t tolerate muppets on the road!

Driving to work today has forced me to display my road rage behaviour. I think today was D**khead day on the roads!

My first gripe was when I flashed somebody out and they didn’t say thank you! MANNERS COST NOTHING DUMBASS!!!!! A quick wave of the hand or hazard lights would have sufficed, where is this sense of entitlement coming from! I hope your windows freeze over tomorrow morning and you run out of de-icer.

That was that, I thought train your inner chimp Sarah, don’t let this ruin your day.

A bit further down I got into the outside lane to overtake, at the same time another driver also moved over. That driver then proceeded to drive slower than those in the inside lane, I get back into the inside lane, they also do the same, I move back over, so do they, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM MOOOOOOOOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next part of the road I come to is 40mph, I get stuck behind someone driving exactly 27mph. If you’re scared to drive then don’t, especially not in rush hour traffic!

Finally, I arrive at work. Like most workplaces, there is a car park with ample parking. I drive a fairly big car and have no trouble in these spaces. I sh*t you not a Citroen c1 pulled in and back out of a space probably 10/15 times before still parking wonky. Your car is the size of a postage stamp what the hell are you doing!

By this time the space I was heading towards was taken by someone else who drove the other way around the car park (which in itself wound me up!).

I think what I’m trying to say here is stop driving like a bunch of kn**s! If driving terrifies you then maybe public transport is the answer.

While I’m here id also like to address cyclists. Cyclists annoy me full stop, fully admire they’re saving the environment and being fit and healthy but get out of the MIDDLE OF THE F***ING ROAD! Stop weaving through cars in a traffic jam it just comes across as cocky! Also, you look like a d**k in lycra and a pointy helmet, you’re not doing the Tour De France you’re going to work get over yourself!

I think, now I’ve got that off my chest, I will be able to get on with my day! Thanks for reading my whiny gripes!

Ciao for now xx

Double Standards…….

I was thinking about how I, myself, am probably one of the worst on the planet for double standard but will openly admit it! Below are some examples of where I or others have had double standards:

  • When people say “you don’t even need makeup”, now they say this when we have makeup on. The second you take anyone’s advice and don’t wear it the level of concern is alarming “Are you ok?”, “You don’t look well”, “Have you had your iron levels checked”. Bore off Sandra YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!!!! Just don’t listen unless you are naturally a babe which, lets face it, most of us aren’t! I’m not advising you to basically redecorate your face every time you go out but id say a bit of concealer goes a long way unless you don’t mind people asking if your Anemic then crack on!
    NO MAKEUP
  • When there is food in the fridge, not just any food, something I have chosen for MYSELF and there is one left (you already know where i’m going with this) but you return home from a hard days graft (ok, i’m not coal mining but my line of work can be mentally draining) and its nowhere to be seen. Instant feelings are of anger, despair and confusion consume me. Immediately I walk into the living room with a look of bewilderment, “Charlie, i’m not sure whats happened?! There was a slice of cheesecake in the fridge and it would appear its no longer there?! Did it go off?! Was there a leak in the fridge in which it didn’t survive?! There must be a logical explanation because GOD KNOWS you wouldn’t dare mess with my food! At this point i’m hysterical on the verge of tears (this is not a joke!). He apologises, mopes, goes to the shop and replaces and all is kind of forgiven. Now if I am alone in the house, watching the Kardashian’s and I know there is 1 packet of steak McCoy’s left, I do sit and contemplate what I should do. I put myself in Charlies shoes, how would I feel if he did that. I continue to contemplate on the way to the cupboard, I also contemplate whilst opening the pack then the beefy goodness hits me and I forget who Charlie is! Then once demolished I have to conjure up a way to cover up the crime. Note to Charlie, if I’ve taken the bins out then 100% I’ve eaten something of yours and are covering up my tracks!!!I ate your food
  • This one really got me. The main double standards are between the sexes:DoubleStandards
    How true is this!!! If these were grown men holding signs up for the cast of mean girls they would be escorted away and put on a register! Good Morning Britain would be going mental about it. Piers Morgan would be having a verbal boxing match with ‘Ken, 45, who only wears pink on Wednesdays’. If the above is an example of your Mom, Sister, Daughter, Aunty, Cousin, Friend, whatever, make it stop, its creepy AF!
  • Sitting on your phone in company. I am 100% the worst in the world for this. If I put a programme on I want every single person in the room to be focused on the TV or leave! Poor Charlie gets “why are you on your phone, you’ve been at work all day, haven’t seen me, don’t you even love me anymore?!” He finally puts his phone down, we start to watch something but if I lose a slight bit of interest there is a magnetic pull which means my hand involuntarily reaches for the device I’ve just argued for him to come off of! In my defence he could sit scrolling for a week straight without sleep but even so I admit it is double standards!
    Get off your phone!

If you have any examples of double standards make sure you put them in the comments….

Keyboard Warriors

Emails/texts can be very misconstrued as can anything in written form. If you don’t know whether your currently embroiled in a digital showdown here are some surefire signs you being told off….

  • Instead of starting with ‘To’ or ‘Dear’ the email will just start with your name. To Sarah, fine. Dear Sarah, Fine. If it just says Sarah alone as the beginning of the text then I know i’m in the dog house.
  • ‘With all due respect’. Can I just point out the sender does not think any respect is due. They are basically writing “Your clearly an idiot this is what should be happening you blatant imbecile!!!!!”
  • ‘I’m sorry but’…. They aren’t sorry! Not at all! Even in the slightest!
  • Instead of ‘Kind Regards’ its just ‘Regards.’ The most passive aggressive way of signing off an email in my opinion unless of course they always use just ‘Regards’ in which case they’ve never like you!
  • When a person of authority or influence is CC’d but hasn’t been throughout the entire email thread they’re showing others just how irrelevant your point of view is and how right they are! They may have even been brought in to diffuse the situation. Please know because it was them that brought the 3rd wheel into the conversation they will have already thought about and planned who they are bringing in with the confidence that their side will be taken. What use is bringing an impartial 3rd party into the conversation?!
  • The worst of all is when someone who isn’t knowingly CC’d replies to the thread! This means they were BCC’d (Blind CCD), so the person didn’t even want you know that they had added others to the conversation! The main keyboard warrior betrayal!

If any of the above is happening the changes are the digital showdown is going off!!!!!

If anyone else has any Keyboard warrior examples feel free to comment 🙂 Happy typing xx