At what age are alcopops no longer age appropriate?

At what age is an alcopop no longer appropriate? These are the hard hitting questions I ask myself (I get it I must have a lot on my plate!)

I feel like at some point in your life, without being told, subconsciously, you realise that your not going to be taken seriously holding a bottle of what can only be described as looking like smurf p**s!

Is it the sugar? Let’s face it our bodies aren’t breaking that stuff down like it used to (although I don’t seem to mind when I’m knee deep into a lemon drizzle!)

Is it a different hangover. We start to categorise hangovers at a certain point which makes drinking choices harder e.g I’m relitavely functional on a gin hangover where as a wine hangover turns me into the anti christ for 3 days following?

Either way I don’t seem to see anyone over the age of 19 holding an alcopop anymore. When did we become ‘too old’ and more to the point WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!

I think the below is a perfect representation of where I’m going with this….

You’re 29 and you have no kids?!!!!

So, as I creep towards 30 i’m always asked “so…..when are you having one?!” Well firstly Sandra I like sleeping! How’s that going for you with your 3 sleep stealer’s waking you up at 3am, 5am and 7am? Because i’m getting 8 hours every night, sometimes 10!!!!

Why is it as you creep towards 30 so many people take an interest in my ovarian activity?! Shall I use your bowel movements as a conversation starter or is that intrusive “Are you regular Sandra?”.

Let me just point out a few things to those that actually have their s**t together….

  1. I will wake up as late as physically possible, you cant snooze a baby for an hour to ‘come round’.
  2. I already wash my hair as little as possible due to not feeling like an hour a day is a good use of time blow drying a head full of nano rings!
  3. As above its lucky if it even gets brushed and YOU want ME to be solely responsible for raising a child.
  4. I killed a cactus, a plant that is near enough un-killable, it died in my care, I loved it to death, I over fed it until it literally turned to mush. There is already an obesity epidemic without me bringing a new generation of over-eaters into this world.
  5. I’ve been on a diet for 6 years and in that time gained 2 stone, baby weight is not something i’m prepared to try and conquer!

So Sandra, the answer to your question is NOT YET, now haven’t you got a school run to finish or something?!

Can someone tell me whats going on?

Thanks for joining me!

This blog is a light hearted look at life as a clueless 29 year old. Literally clueless.

Ill be talking about everyday experiences or memories id probably rather forget. Tackling the big issues such as being hangry, overtired, or just discussing my viewpoint on life. If you don’t like controversy then ‘blog on!’ I say whats on my mind which can get me into trouble, a lot. My mom always says “Ill take you somewhere twice and the second time is to apologise!”. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!