At what age is an alcopop no longer appropriate? These are the hard hitting questions I ask myself (I get it I must have a lot on my plate!)
I feel like at some point in your life, without being told, subconsciously, you realise that your not going to be taken seriously holding a bottle of what can only be described as looking like smurf p**s!
Is it the sugar? Let’s face it our bodies aren’t breaking that stuff down like it used to (although I don’t seem to mind when I’m knee deep into a lemon drizzle!)
Is it a different hangover. We start to categorise hangovers at a certain point which makes drinking choices harder e.g I’m relitavely functional on a gin hangover where as a wine hangover turns me into the anti christ for 3 days following?
Either way I don’t seem to see anyone over the age of 19 holding an alcopop anymore. When did we become ‘too old’ and more to the point WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!
I think the below is a perfect representation of where I’m going with this….
So, as I creep towards 30 i’m always asked “so…..when are you having one?!” Well firstly Sandra I like sleeping! How’s that going for you with your 3 sleep stealer’s waking you up at 3am, 5am and 7am? Because i’m getting 8 hours every night, sometimes 10!!!!
Why is it as you creep towards 30 so many people take an interest in my ovarian activity?! Shall I use your bowel movements as a conversation starter or is that intrusive “Are you regular Sandra?”.
Let me just point out a few things to those that actually have their s**t together….
- I will wake up as late as physically possible, you cant snooze a baby for an hour to ‘come round’.
- I already wash my hair as little as possible due to not feeling like an hour a day is a good use of time blow drying a head full of nano rings!
- As above its lucky if it even gets brushed and YOU want ME to be solely responsible for raising a child.
- I killed a cactus, a plant that is near enough un-killable, it died in my care, I loved it to death, I over fed it until it literally turned to mush. There is already an obesity epidemic without me bringing a new generation of over-eaters into this world.
- I’ve been on a diet for 6 years and in that time gained 2 stone, baby weight is not something i’m prepared to try and conquer!
So Sandra, the answer to your question is NOT YET, now haven’t you got a school run to finish or something?!