Workouts are shite!

I’m not even going to introduce this post, it introduced itself.

Currently I’m in panic mode.

I’ve known this wedding was happening for a year and always said “for my wedding I want to look healthy and radiant bla bla bla”. So what have I done in the last 12 months to achieve this? The answer, I’ve sat on the sofa watching Netflix eating chocolate coated malted milk biscuits!

Yesterday we bit the bullet and went to the gym before work. Did the same today. Do not get me wrong I feel more energetic and as though we’ve achieved something. Nevertheless exercise is the devils work. I hated it when I was skinny in the distant past and I hate it now!

I’ve done stints at the gym in the past and let me ensure you I NEVER EVER got the bug! That feel good feeling! NEVER!

Honestly you people who eat everything and don’t gain weight. I hate every single thing about you!

It’s only day 2 and I’m already going on like I’ve climbed Kilimanjaro because I’ve done 3.5 minutes on a rowing machine! 🙄

Another downside, I woke up this morning and felt like I’d given a blue whale a piggy back from Scotland to Newquay!

Anyway I’ll keep at it until the wedding and hope for the best.

This post was in no way uplifting or encouraging and I completely own that but either way I’m wallowing in self pity.

P.s if anyone knows how I can lose a stone in a week while still stuffing my face with carbs and refined sugar please do let me know!

Ciao for now xx

Modern day dating WTF!

So, first of all, I think we need to have a moments silence for anyone dating in today’s society.

I thankfully missed the age of Tinder and the other dating apps although I did have a dabble at POF until a lady emailed asking if I’d sleep with her husband and film it or send her a graphic email, at that moment I realised this was not for me.

not getting involved

There are a few problems I have with the age of the dating app:

  1. They are full of filtered photos! Nobody puts an average picture of themselves on a dating app and let’s face it that’s how we look the majority of the time! It’s false advertising that you can’t sue for! If they have butterflies or flowers around their heads swipe left, they are filtered and DO NOT look like that.
  2. Whilst someone may sound like a fun guy/girl they are using their very best lines, potentially even asking their friends what to say. Basically, 70% of what they’ve said may have come from their friend who has major game, when you meet this person they could be as dry as a sponge cake from Lidl! Yet again false advertising!
  3. If you’re a guy seeking a girl then she’s going to tell you she’s normal, not like other girls, doesn’t get jealous, you have had no human interaction to gauge this. Also, we all say this when we meet you but at least if you hear this face to face and she’s not giving any eye contact or laughing hysterically while she’s saying it the chances are she may be lying if she can look you in the face and say it shes merely exaggerating the truth. Maybe try face timing to ensure you haven’t just agreed to a date with Myra Hindley! DISCLAIMER – Some girls aren’t actually at all Psyco’s, they are few and far between, good luck finding her and if you do NEVER LET GO!
  4. If you are a girl seeking a guy from what I hear the biggest lie you will be told is their height. For some, this seems to be a common trend. They’re going to add a minimum of 2 imaginary inches to every aspect of their physical self. Now, this confuses me because if your dating a girl that’s 5ft 3″ and you’re 5ft 6″ you’re still taller, why lie. Also, a lot of women aren’t bothered if you’re taller or not. It’s better to tell the truth than have her turn up to your date in heels fuming! This will not lead to anything but an “I just don’t think there was a spark but we can be friends” conversation.
  5. The majority of your decision to speak to someone is purely based on looks. This bothers me. Of course, there has to be a physical attraction but that can grow more when you get to know someone.
  6. The confidence of approaching someone and sparking up a conversation is attractive. Also having someone approach you is flattering. Put a bit of effort in, it will say a lot about how the rest of your relationship will pan out.
  7. You cant smell through an app. I’m sorry and this is superficial but if someone looks like Tom Hardy but smells of bin juice you are not going there, I hope!

Whichever route you go down in the world of dating I wish you all the best and I DO NOT envy you!

you got this