Why is it wrong to be selfish?!

I’ve found myself lately questioning everyone else’s expectations of me.

How many times have we all been told we are selfish? How many times are we being told to also look after ourselves, put ourselves first? Bit of a contradiction?!

For someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, I can tell you now every decision I make I think about how other people are perceiving it, judge it, talk about it etc.

Well, I’m making a stand to say who gives a shit?!

The definition of selfish is: ‘(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.’

So if I’m having a terrible day and don’t turn up at your party or event yes I am ‘concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure’ because, why shouldn’t I be. If I’m having a day were leaving the house is going to make me miserable and anxious why am I forcing myself, literally feeling sick, because I don’t want to upset people? Who is being selfish in this situation? Why can’t I be selfish?

I’m actually self-titled ‘a flake’ now because I was so sick of other people calling it to me for not turning up. How would you react if I said, I’m having a really low day, I’m not feeling up to it? Guarantee the response is, ‘come on it will cheer you up’. Really?! Will it?! Are you being selfish wanting me there to make up numbers or am I being selfish not coming because I’m having a bad day?

People don’t think twice to ask you to do something for them? Is that being selfish, or am I being selfish if I say no, I haven’t got the time? Are they being selfish knowing ill say yes because I never want to let anyone down?

If I’m having a party and I ask you to BOYB am I selfish for not supplying you all with alcohol or are you selfish turning up empty-handed expecting me to pay for the £30 bottle of gin you’re about to drink? Or am I selfish for throwing a party without having the financial capability to fully cater to everyone?

People leave relationships because they are not happy, some for many years. What do people call them? Selfish. Please explain why? Because they have put themselves first for once?! Or were they ‘concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit’.

People move to other countries, towns, cities whatever, they are called selfish for leaving their families and not being there at the drop of a hat. Is it not more selfish to not let them go and further themselves because again they have put themselves first for once?! Yet again is this them being ‘concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit’.

If I have people over for dinner am I selfish for not inviting the entire friendship group?

Where does it end?!

I’m sick of overthinking EVERYTHING out of fear of pissing someone off!

Next time you throw the word SELFISH at someone stop and think. Are they selfish or are they putting themselves first for once in their life? I for one will be taking SELFISH as a compliment from now on because for once in my life I’m putting myself and my needs first!

P.S if you have invited me to any of your parties there is a 50/50 chance of me coming.

Ciao for now!

Things that are always a disappointment….

In the wake of the biggest disappointment known to man AKA the Game Of Thrones Final, I got thinking about other things I hype up in my head which never really satisfy in the way id built myself up for!

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  • Fake tan. I NEVER look like any of the girls on the ads, photo’s, youtube videos. I instead end up looking like I have vitiligo and not in the Winnie Harlow looking amazing way more in a kids staring and parents shushing them way! Day 1 I MAY look OK but by day 3/4 I’m a scaly disgusting lizard that has to wear a polo neck in July!
  • Any home acrylic kit ever. Just don’t. They will always look rank. Honestly, sitting having my cuticles drilled off by the local Chinese nail shop is a better option than the lumpy monstrosities I will do at home! Even better have them Gelled (I can recommend an unreal nail technician).
  • DIY Eyebrow Tint. Let me just tell you, combine this bullet point with bullet point one and hey presto, your eyebrows look like wotsits!
  • The number of crisps you get in a bag based on the size of the packet! Why have a big puffy bag only to break my heart with the 10 crisps in there!
  • McDonald’s. Why do I crave it so much because every time I eat it I think that was wack?! Then an hour later I feel sick and hungry again!
  • NYE! New years eve is built up to be the event of the year, we have so so so much expectation when the reality is every year is a disappointment. Maybe if I went into it with ‘this is going to be a crap night’ kind of attitude I may enjoy it more.
  • Birthdays. Especially birthday parties! OMG the pressure I put on myself on my birthday! How can I celebrate? Will anyone turn up? Will people be bored? What am I even celebrating I’m even older than yesterday!
  • Kitchen gadgets, I have a kitchen full of things ill never use. I have a vegetable spiralizer, who can be arsed! I have a chip cutter which is basically a criss-cross blade surrounded by plastic that makes life harder. I have a cheese grinder which again is basically a grater that makes life harder. The list goes on. Will I carry on buying this shit, yes!
  • My bank balance but that’s another story!
  • Trying somewhere new on just eat. This is such a gamble. Either its the best thing ever and you find a new takeaway you will be loyal to in the coming years or it takes like pig swill. There is no in-between!
  • When you take your push up bra off and your tits look like a cocker spaniels ears!
  • Watching a bartender in Spain get out a spirit measure! The only reason I go is for the freehand cocktails!
  • The job vs the job interview. The interview when they tell you about the perks, you get your birthday off, its a fun-loving environment, we have a table tennis table and do regular work nights out. The reality is everyone hates it, the table tennis hasn’t seen any action since 1994 and the only people on the work night out are those who have worked there for 20 years in the hope they will make it to senior sales one day!
  • Matt lipgloss. I wear this every day so let me tell you I am somewhat of an expert. These things look amazing but make your lips feel like they have been through some form of chemical dehydration process!Image result for matt gloss meme

That’s enough disappointment from me! Let me know what disappoints you unless it’s my blog posts in which case keep it to yourself!

Ciao for now xxx